


Call Back (or don't)

by GregoryinGold



Category: South Park
Genre: Day drinking, Fluffy, Jealous Christophe, M/M, Oblivious Gregory, What is this I don't do fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GregoryinGold/pseuds/GregoryinGold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gregory has the realization that none of his dates ever call him back. Christophe is acting suspicious about this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Back (or don't)

**Author's Note:**

> First fic! Starting....tame....

  
  
Gregory made the realization that none of his dates ever called back two days after a pleasant dinner with a woman named Diana. He did everything he could think of to make it a nice evening; he brought her flowers, he picked up the tab, and they even watched a movie back at her house afterwards. A romantic movie, he might add, just the two of them. It's not that he was after sex or anything, nor was he disappointed that things didn't escalate past kissing. No, it was just the first time he realized that in his twenty-four years of life, he never got a second date with a person.  
  
Gregory's dated men, women, people he's pursued on his own, people others have set up with him, people he wouldn't normally go for, and people who were just his type. But not a single person has ever called him back for a second date. When he tried to message or call them, they either didn't respond or hung up quickly. He just assumed that they just didn't like him, or that he just wasn't what they thought he'd be.  
  
Christophe loved to make fun of him for all that. He always claimed 'they saw how much of a bitch you were and left', which usually Gregory just shrugged off. However, when Christophe was being too harsh about it, the Frenchman would shake his head and say they didn't deserve him anyways. Then he would go out and buy a pint of ice cream and a bottle of wine and they'd mope together on the couch with some drama on.  
  
For someone who appeared to be so gruff and rude, Christophe was always very nice to him after Gregory realized that he had no chance with his previous date. Suspiciously nice, he found after awhile. He also always seemed to know what happened before Gregory even told him. Could he have something to do with his dates' mysterious silence? Maybe he wouldn't tell Christophe about Diana and see what happened.  
  
\---  
  
That Friday afternoon when Gregory came back from work to their shared apartment, he found Christophe lounging around on the couch with a pack of beer on the coffee table. Gregory rolled his eyes in exasperation. Typical French and their day drinking.  
  
"'Ey." Christophe greeted, turning his head around to see him walk in.  
  
"Hello. Did you get out of work early or something?"  
  
"Ouias. I got beer and a movie from Redbox, come sit down." Christophe sat up more and waved him over.  
  
Gregory took his shoes off and hung up his coat, eying the dirt that his friend already brought in. He'd leave it...For now. "Well, you seem to have the day planned out, don't you? What if I said I had a date with Diana though?"  
  
"Oh please, she didn't get a hold of you. Come in here." The brunet scoffed.  
  
His eyes narrowed as he crossed into the living room. "And how would you know that? I could have a nice dinner planned that I would need to get ready for as we speak."  
  
"Because you would have told me. And would have freaked out about it. And well, mon cher, you never have second dates. Bad luck dating, non?" Christophe was smirking and looking so pleased with himself that Gregory wanted to wipe that look right off his face.  
  
"Fine, you caught me. I'm not going on a date with Diana. I actually met a guy named Mike I thought I'd give a call." This of course was a complete lie; he didn't know anyone named Mike. Gregory looked over to Christophe for a reaction.  
  
And he wasn't disappointed. "What?" The Frenchman asked lowly. He set down his beer and stood up, drawing to his full height, about a head taller than Gregory. "Who is Mike?"  
  
"He bought my coffee this morning. We had a little chat and he expressed interest in going out to eat later. Well, I'm not sure if he meant eating dinner or my ass, but I'm fine with either."  
  
Christophe went red in anger and glared at him. "So you're just going to ditch me for some scumbag who's just after sex? I didn't think you were like that, Gregory." He spat out.  
  
It was usually not a good sign when Christophe actually called him by his first name. Most of the time it was some French petname or just 'bitch' when he was being difficult. Gregory felt bad for lying now. "No, I'm not 'Tophe. I'm just tired of you making fun of me for all this! Especially since you seem to know too much about my...difficulties."  
  
"What do you mean?" Now his posture was more defensive; arms crossed, chin out, hunched back.  
  
"You always seem to know how everything is going to go, you don't seem surprised when no one goes out with me again, and I don't think I even told you Diana's name." Gregory ticked off on his fingers. Finally, he felt like he had Christophe in a corner.  
  
"...Yes you did." Christophe hesitated.  
  
"No, I don't recall telling you that. Just, be honest with me please?" Gregory sighed, finally sitting down on the couch. The brunet joined him after a moment.  
  
"...I may snoop through your phone some. I want to see who it is you're going out with." Christophe mumbled, then shook his head. "Anyways it's only for your protection. I wouldn't want you to be around some creep or weirdo." He tried to brush it off like it was nothing, but it wasn't!  
  
"Are you serious? That's a complete violation of privacy!" Gregory sputtered. Oh God, what did he see on his phone? A lot of it was work related, but there were some frequented sites he'd rather not have his best friend see!  
  
"Uh, well I might have also texted the shadier looking people to leave you alone. Rather rudely, if we're being honest here." Christophe looked a bit sheepish, rubbing the back of his head, but generally pleased with himself.  
  
Gregory was flabbergasted. He thought his friend might have a little something to do with it, but not actually telling people that he wasn't interested in them! How long has he been doing this? This whole time he felt like he was unattractive or unworthy to others, but in reality Christophe was just butting in? How long has he been doing this? And how many people has he done this to? He voiced this question to Christophe.  
  
"Maybe all of them. It's hard to keep up with you, my little extrovert." Great, now he was back to being smug again.  
  
"Why have you been doing this?!" Gregory exclaimed. He was a normally cool and collected person but Christophe always managed to wind him up. He was about to snap. Why did Christophe always have to put his grubby hands into everything and ruin it for him?  
  
Christophe rolled his eyes. "I thought it was pretty obvious, _mon amour_." He stressed.

Oh.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ouias. You're very...Oblivious, cher. I, uh, have been trying for awhile." Christophe pointedly wasn't looking at him, cheeks flushed.  
  
"Oh." Christophe liked him? Maybe loved him? Why didn't he say anything sooner! He was trying to wrap his head around his best friend having a crush on him, but said friend was growing impatient while he was trying to collect this thoughts.  
  
"Say something other than that!" He snapped. "You normally don't shut up! Give me something to work with."  
  
"Give me a minute! This is a lot to take in!" He shot back hotly. Then Gregory realized of course he liked (loved?) Christophe back. He couldn't imagine his life without him: without his dirt, his ability to irritate him to no end, or his weird roundabout way of confessing to him. "Can you do anything normally?" He sighed.  
  
Christophe took that as an answer, pulling the blond closer to his side and handing him a beer and kissing the side of his head. "Non. Now tell this Mike to fuck off."  
  
Gregory cuddled up closer to him and chuckled. "There is no Mike. You're too jealous for your own good."  
  
"What?! Why you arrogant, snotty-"  
  
Gregory cut him off with a short kiss. "Play the movie already."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! More to come eventually


End file.
